How to NOT Get Promoted: Top 10 Best Practices

1. Show up to work every day dressed in a full medieval knight’s armor. It’ll show your dedication and attention to detail!
2. Whenever someone asks you to do something, respond with a random quote from a movie or TV show. It’ll show your quick wit and pop culture knowledge!
3. Set up a lemonade stand in the office and start selling drinks to your coworkers. It’ll show your entrepreneurial spirit and business savvy!
4. Whenever you’re asked to give a presentation, do it entirely in interpretive dance. It’ll show your creativity and ability to think outside the box!
5. Start bringing your pet ferret to work and introducing him as your “assistant.” It’ll show your teamwork and leadership skills!
6. Whenever you have a meeting with your boss, bring a boom box and play your own personal theme music. It’ll show your confidence and ambition!
7. Set up a secret code with your coworkers and only communicate in code during meetings. It’ll show your adaptability and problem-solving skills!
8. Whenever someone asks you a question, respond with a fortune cookie fortune. It’ll show your wisdom and insight!
9. Start bringing a giant inflatable beach ball to work and bounce it off the walls whenever you’re feeling stressed. It’ll show your stress-management skills!
10. Whenever you’re asked to do something you don’t want to do, start crying and telling everyone about your terrible childhood. It’ll show your emotional intelligence and vulnerability!

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